Wednesday, April 18, 2012

For the Anomalies

We will find the inimitable joy of birds fighting against the sky.
Creatures in their smallness, ignorant of gravity, defy the grey
that keeps them. Bruised in the orange kaleidoscopic morning
which has followed all others. Hating the tethers of animal limits
yet knowing them intimately. It’s in the timing of stoplights,
the intoxicating fury of politics. It’s the writing of paragraphs with
four-letter words on the last line. The staccato snap of rhythmic
keys.

Imitating indifference to divide my devices from mundane
devilry. Foundries of sex filled to the brim time and time and time
again until no sensation can penetrate the shell of euphoria- lost in
that candescent haze, annihilating differences, unaware of where
your awareness sits among the close-pressed contact of skins
in blood-rush. Standing naked on our roofs, defiant of the whole of
which we are the maps. The mathematical explanations failing to
explain a single fucking thing.

Pluck egos from screaming safety- force-feed them into the pulsing
fulcrum of strange individuality, affirmed in gasps. Bask in the
dichotomous world, slave under the wheel- it carries a wrack of
pain and full measures of transcendence. See and love the cracked
Earth. Taste the blood of humanity and swallow hard. Learn to
lie to yourself and others. Buckle under the weight of hollow
contempt. Destroy your enemies or love them or never have enemies
to begin with.

A day will come when we will: no longer concern ourselves with
time, make love like summer’s breaking, find indelicate
languages in stone, revel in selfless assistances, scream across
skies and strip naked the machineries there, create empires of
incandescent turbulence, have our bolts of brilliance, find
no better science than music, climb the towers and see the path
ahead. We will undertake these, or we will have died too
soon.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Frost at midnight

It's been 48 hours of waking. I'm supposed to be writing three papers, tonight: a close reading of Frankenstein, a research paper on The Tempest, and a close reading on the character of Dorian Gray from the perspective of Coleridge's ancient mariner- oh yeah- I also have an exam at 8am. I was just hoping that this might get my focus back on writing instead of endlessly sailing on the tubes of you.

This hollow, over-energetic lift I'm in does nothing to focus my fingertips. I might as well be asleep- If I could be asleep. Freneticism(I should start a movement...) does me no favor. This is easy for me- it's just like thinking. Putting things on a page for a grade, though- I hate it. I don't want my thoughts to represent a number. I want my thoughts to provoke more of themselves.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Somni-masochism

Why do I do this to myself- this whole sleepless thing? Surely it is for the great late night television programming. Maybe then, it is the culinary options available at 3am. Maybe the bloodshot conversation with other, more chemically addled beings conscious at that hour are what keeps me. All of the above? When the sun happens to be visiting my side of the globe, I long for the hours when I may gorge myself on IHOP's splendorous menu, share conversations with tweakers, then venture home to some animated insanity on that cold cathode ray tube. 

Sadly, none of those do it for me. Long had I wondered about why I desire the delirious embrace of night's hours. It was until I had read through a few centuries of literature that I realized everything since Romanticism has practically been Romanticism under a different name. Decadence, Modernism, Futurism, ad nauseum. I willingly deprive myself of sleep for the same reason Wordsworth wanders through Tintern Abbey. Not trying to compare myself to Coleridge, just my methods to his. People connect to the sublime(the muse/ essence/ God/ universal sentience/ whatever/ good ol' inspiration) in different ways. Maybe daffodils do it for you, but for me, the only juice behind ink is a dark sky, a hollow neon glow, and a mind attempting to dream awake.